sigh

Today I was in a meeting for a committee that I’m on for this retirement celebration thing.. the ladies are really nice, and they always stay after to talk. Well, today they got into a discussion about their husbands and how long they were married and all these things. I pretty much sat there petrified for about 5 minutes praying something would happen, an earthquake, high profile assassination, my hair catch on fair… anything. Nope. I just sat there helpless until someone asked it, the question, that I knew they would ask. Then I willed every fiber of my being to not cry, I was about 75% successful at that. A lovely end to an unbelievably stressful, frustrating and unforgiving workday. Venting, venting, venting. Jeez, it’s been a month. I thought this was going to get easier.

Oh, Monday. You would.

Yay, I’m going to use my blog for bitching about random stuff again:

1. I’ve been cranking out the work like a mad-woman. Like, drafting entire Board of Trustees presentations, evaluation processes, all while managing this crazy office and providing administrative support to everyone who apparently knows how to do nothing for themselves, which is everyone. So, it really pisses me off after all that, that the one thing my boss points out is that she doesn’t like the style of bullet that I chose. OK, glad that’s out.

2. The weather. Fuck you, weather.  You have been completely shitty. In fact, I have never seen weather this shitty. You have snowed, iced, rained and winded on me.  I will get my revenge. Just you wait and see.

OK, that’s all I have to bitch about right now.  Now good stuff:

1. I went shopping this weekend and it was awesome.  I hate shopping for some reason… probably because all the jeans now have rips or jewels on them, and all the clothes look like they were made for Avril Lavigne or something… but this was a good trip. I got cute new jeans, a cardigan, some workout pants and an awesome bracelet from Fossil.

2. My cousin Danny is basically my favorite person in the world right now.  This might be disturbing, because he has an amazing capacity to be a complete fuckhead.  But, other than that I think he’s totally awesome.

3. I ordered two new books today from Amazon.  One is called The Passionate Mind.. it’s a yoga thing, I think.  The other is Thank God it’s Friday, which I’m reading for a study group that I’m joining.

4. I accidentally stayed out too late on Saturday, which was kind of dumb.  I realized this when some guy named Devon proposed to me over a game of pool at a dive bar named Gatsby’s.  FYI: this is a very good sign that you have stayed out past your bedtime.

5. I feel, at peace.  I pray… that God’s will be done. And I actually believe that it will. I feel my heart healing and my spirit growing.

My Life with the Wave

 by Octavio Paz

Just found an online version of one of my favorite short stories.

http://oblivio.com/others/020820_paz.shtml

the Lips doing Dark Side of the Moon at Bonnaroo this year

http://www.spinner.com/2010/02/02/flaming-lips-dark-side-of-the-moon-bonnaroo/?utm_source=twitterfeed&utm_medium=twitter&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+Spinner+%28Spinner.com%29

Diner 11.09.08 Milwaukee

This video is a pretty gives a pretty good idea of a what a Panic show is like, in case you ever wondered. I guess it’s just some drunk dude holding up his camera at a show.  But yea, the boys are rippin it on stage, beer and friends everywhere, “dancing” if you could call it that, and all kindsa confusion and excitement… Heh heh. The good ol days

What made me cry today Post 1

You Can’t Always Get What You Want – The Rolling Stones
10.17.73 – Brussels, Belgium

Because I am insane, and I cry almost every day.  Well, some people probably think I’m insane, anyway.  I was talking with a friend last night, telling him what made me cry on Thursday and he said…, gosh you’re cute. Huh?  And he said, well, you’re just so passionate and full of emotion. A lot of people try to hide that, and pretend that nothing can phase them.

—

This morning I put on a dress and boots and my long plaid jacket and took a little walk downtown to the historic United Methodist Church.  I was walking along the snowy downtown streets and the church bells were ringing, and kind of echoing off the sheet of ice covering the ground. It was really beautiful. [little kathleen tear]

1 Corinthians 13

Love

 ¹If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. ²If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. ³If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

 ⁴Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

 ⁸Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. ⁹For we know in part and we prophesy in part, ¹⁰but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. ¹¹When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. ¹²Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

 ¹³And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Dead Therapy

Because shit. Some days are harder than others. So here ya go: that’s 7.31.74 at Dillon Stadium in Hartford, CT.

www.archive.org/details/gd1974-07-31.sbd.miller.32353.sbeok.flac16 

1: Scarlet, Me & My Uncle, B. E. Women, BIODTL, Half Step> Roses, Mexicali, Row Jimmy, Jack Straw, China Cat> I Know You Rider, Around

2: Bertha, Big River, Eyes> China Doll, Promised, Ship Of Fools, WRS Prelude> WRS Part 1> Let It Grow 2.5: Phil & Ned

3: El Paso, Ramble On, Greatest, To Lay Me Down, Truckin> Mind Left Body Jam> Spanish Jam> Wharf Rat> U. S. Blues, Saturday Night E: Uncle John 

Hopefully this will help ya out if you’re havin a crappy snowed-in day like me.  I’m feeling painfully aware of my alone-ness this weekend.  The snow started at about 5 p.m. yesterday when I had to make the 25 mile commute… it got really dark all of a sudden and my windsheild wipers kept freezing up and people were rushing to get home and all. It sucked. I forgot my phone yesterday too.  I just couldn’t see anymore at one point so I just pulled over for a while and cried.  Then I got back on the road and spent the next two hours creeping along the highway in bumper to bumper traffic in the snow.

I went out with my lovely French friend to celebrate her birth by drinking beer and playing in the snow downtown, which was fun… But I fucking felt like I had to recount the story of how I’m NOT engaged anymore like 7 times.  My own personal recurring fucking nightmare.  I guess that’s how it goes though for a while.

I guess all that on top of the fact that I’m snowed in this house today… It’s a good day for some Dead Therapy.

You’re an adult. You should know this. (i.e. more bitchy thoughts)

Please, consult this guide before updating your facebook status or sending another asinine interoffice memorandum:

http://theoatmeal.com/comics/misspelling

I’m considering printing this and secretly posting it somewhere in the office.  I bet no one would even know it was me… muahahahaha

A dreamer of pictures

Thursdays at 2:15 I usually go to Sonic to get my weekly half-price Strawberry Limeade with Vanilla.  The same guy’s always working, and he seems so happy to see me and he calls me “vanilla girl.”  I don’t know why, but I really look forward to this interaction every week. Haha.  It’s almost as good as being the cinnamon girl, I guess.

haha :)

“How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being.” -Oscar Wilde